Hope Is Your North Star
The days following hearing the words “Joseph is autistic,” were some of my darkest days. I was living with the deepest pain I had felt in my 32 years of life.
It was my first life tsunami. I didn’t know the way out to find the light. It felt like instantly being lost and not knowing which way to go. I felt huge fear but mostly the feeling of being hit hard and landing in the middle of a deep dark forest.
When you are in the middle of darkness, how can you find hope?
Great question. It’s hard but hope can be found because I have done it. Hope is the north star. When I found hope, I learned to hold on to it. I learned to follow hope to find my way out of the deep dark forest of pain.
At first when you begin to look for hope, you may not recognize it. Hope may be everywhere but it is difficult to feel it. Hope is a feeling of possibility, and that all will be well.
I had hope that Joseph would speak one day and tell me what he was thinking and feeling. I had hoped that he would find his own way one day. I had hoped that he would be potty-trained, tell me he loves me, find a friend, feel joy and happiness in his life. I had so much hope once I was able to feel even the smallest glimmer of possibility.
Where did I find hope? In my son's smile, in my love for my beautiful child, in other mothers. Hope is all around.
If you are in the deep darkness of the forest, just look up towards the light. Look for any signs of hope to get you moving forward.
Take a moment and look around you. Where is hope hiding in your life? This may feel like a scavenger hunt but you can find it. Please don’t stop until you find at least one sign of hope in your life.
Meet yourself where you are at this moment. If doing the Rediscovering Hope Exercise feels too big, then for today go do something kind for yourself.
Remember hope is a feeling of possibility.
Rediscovering Hope Exercise:
Begin with taking three deep breaths.
If hope has found a great hiding place from your heart, search in the smallest spaces. Remember to look in places of love and possibility.
Once you have found signs of hope, write them down below.
Signs of Hope:
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
I HOPE you found more than five signs of hope in your life. Take a look at your signs, and go deep into the feeling of hope (possibility). When you get stuck or stumble in your own grief (darkness), go back to finding hope in your life. Remember that it is your north star, and it will guide you out of the dark days.
Continue each day with listing signs of hope until you can find hope without a great deal of effort. Hope is the strength of your deepest desire. Once you find it, trust and believe that it is possible.
When I see my son smile, I believe he is feeling joy.
Joy is possible each and every day.
Download My Free Guide and Subscribe to My Newsletter
You might also be interested in:
The days following hearing the words “Joseph is autistic,” were some of my darkest days. I was living with the deepest pain I had felt in my 32 years of life. It was my first life tsunami. I didn’t know the way out to find the light. It felt like instantly being lost and not knowing which way to go.